7. Lack of spurting or gushing blood. Ask yourself this question….How large is the puddle on the floor? Is it smaller than a quarter in diameter? If it is then you really should consider a band aid…maybe a snoopy one
6. You wake up and realize you are an hour late for work. The ER is not there for you to get a work excuse cause your lazy butt stayed out too late the night before and couldn’t get up on time.
5. You think your kid has a stomach virus. Guess what? These typically last about 24 hours and you are not going to get anything but a really long wait in the waiting room and possible exposure to about 10 other infectious processes. Take them to a pediatrician if you feel the need to see a physician for a viral infection.
4. A pain in your right hand that has been there for about a month. The ER is not a primary care clinic! Don’t waste health resources on such nonsense, get a regular physician and make an appointment!
3. Ovulation. Ok this one is going to be hard to explain…but it really happened (to me!) I went to the ER and was forced to undergo an abdominal CT (anyone who has had this one knows that it is not pleasant….) to rule out appendicitis. In the end, the Dr told me it was…..yep painful ovulation. I felt pretty dang stupid for that one.
2. Constipation X 2 days. Granted this can be an uncomfortable situation, but really is it necessary to go to the ER? Can you not call your regular doctor? Or at the very least go to Wal-Mart and pick up some MiraLax?
1. You “believe” you could have been exposed to the H1N1 flu through a third party…You discover that the girl that is in your math class has an older brother that was said to have the virus. I promise this is not a reason to be in the ER, especially without any symptoms whatsoever. But if you insist on coming, there is a good possibility we can get you exposed to something even more enjoyable (and directly as opposed to indirectly!)